Guidelines for Etiquette at a Cuddle Party

​During a Cuddle Party:

• Be sure you use good hygiene (use deodorant, brush teeth, comb hair, shave, clean clothes, etc) before coming to a Cuddle Party. Do not eat garlic or onions and do not drink alcohol or use recreational drugs before coming to a Cuddle Party. To respect others’ sensitivities, do not use or wear strongly scented products on your body or your clothes.

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• Have positive intentions for coming to a Cuddle Party and leave any agenda that does not serve the group at the door.

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• Bringing a food item to share with all participants—there are usually 22-25 people present—is greatly appreciated. (If you cannot provide something, do not let that keep you from coming.)

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• Recognize that a Cuddle Party is not a dating service or a hook-up opportunity. A Cuddle Party IS a chance to meet interesting people, possibly make new friends, relax and let-down from your usual busy schedule, receive positive attention and nurturing, non-sexual touch, have fun, and be your true self.

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• Turn off your cell phone; cell phone usage is not permitted during a Cuddle Party, except in special circumstances.

• Do not kiss cuddle partners. Kissing is against the rules of cuddling.

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• People can feel “turned on” during a Cuddle Party. This is a natural, physiologic response that bodies have to touch. Do not act on those responses or urges during a Cuddle Party. The feelings and bodily reactions will go away shortly. You can relieve any embarrassment you feel by moving into a different position, getting up to get a snack, talking about it with your partner, or with the Cuddle Party Facilitator, or just focusing on other thoughts and feelings.

 

 

After a Cuddle Party:

• Do not gossip outside of a Cuddle Party or talk about people from a Cuddle Party with others who attended the Cuddle Party. Respect other people’s privacy and personal integrity. You never know when someone else is going to like someone that you disliked! (We are all different!)

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• Dating someone you just met at a Cuddle Party is discouraged. Meeting someone you want to be friends with at a Cuddle Party is just like meeting a new friend in any other circumstance. Take time to get to know that person as a friend by both of you coming to additional Cuddle Parties, or meet in public spaces that are conducive to conversation. It is helpful to realize that the natural “high” you feel from oxytocin during a Cuddle Party and the intimacy that is created by sharing personal space and conversation during a Cuddle Party can leave participants with the impression that this is the perfect person you have both been longing to meet. That may or may not be true, but it takes more than one Cuddle Party to create a longer-term relationship.

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• We advise people not to meet alone outside of a Cuddle Party unless you have had multiple opportunities to cuddle with them in the safety of the Cuddle Party space.

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• If you agree to get together with someone you meet at a Cuddle Party outside of a Cuddle Party, practice the Rules of Cuddling to help avoid misunderstandings. If you invite someone to cuddle outside of a Cuddle Party, begin your meeting with an honest discussion of the boundaries you want to maintain while together.

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• The Cuddle Party Facilitator is available for a few days after each event to help participants resolve issues that arose at a recent Cuddle Party. However, if people feel a need to work through on-going personal or interpersonal issues, counseling appointments should be scheduled and reimbursement is expected; a sliding scale is always available.